I mean major fail. For a long time even when I wasn’t blogging I wanted to be blogging, I just had trouble finding the words and didn’t want to just keep spreading my bad moods. Now though I’m to the point where I’m not even wanting to blog. I didn’t think I’d ever actually lose interest in it but yeah, that’s what’s happened.

I’m going to look into selling chaotica.nu
If you’re interested in buying it let me know. msaysjump -at- gmail.com
It expires on April 29, 2011.
A .nu is going for 28.88 a year but you can only purchase them for 2+. I’ll take that, and you get slightly over a year left.

Millions of thanks go to my Whitters for putting up with me and allowing me to mooch her space.

The past week and a half or so has been hell. I thought it had all ended Saturday and couldn’t have been any more incorrect.

The main problems I was having was with my future mother-in-law. I won’t go into all of it now because today’s sort of eclipsed most of it, but mainly she was ‘meddling’ and getting into something that’s none of her business. Cyrus ended up being put in the middle and the tension with all of us just got to the point where I flipped out and I don’t even remember most of it. I did get stressed enough that I passed out, and that brought about the end of it. Cy has always been a shield for me from the world, now he’s more so… and I’ve lost a lot of that happiness with her. We had the baby most of last week though and that was great.

Yesterday Cyrus had to go out of town for Lowe’s again. He’s in Pikeville with other employees from all around the area trying to fix their problems. Today I had to go to Hazard (driving his truck… stressful in itself since it’s so huge and I’ve never driven it before) to get my birth control and visited mom while I was in town. Cy called while I was there before going for food and within 10 minutes of hanging up with him Heather called. She said my name then started crying and said that my brother-in-law is in the ER because he’s overdosed. I left the nursing home and of course went to the hospital. Jonathan (my nephew) was in the waiting room so he went back into the back with me (he’d been back there, stepped back out, and then got locked out). Jimmy was hooked up to the stomach pump, had a ventilator breathing for him… it was horrible. Jonathan thinks that he had some sort of an accident with a 4wheeler.

Two deputies from the sherifs department came in and told Heather that they needed her to go to their home with them so they could search and get everything. Heather left her purse and Jonathan with me, asking that I stay with Jimmy. It wasn’t long after they left when Jimmys sister came in. There’s been a lot of issues with her but I’ve always stayed back and out of it, but she came in talking (in front of Jonathan) about how my sister did this and that and blah blah… I asked her if I could talk to her for a second out in the hall and told her I didn’t know what was going on but to please just keep accusations away from Jonathan – it’s bad enough he’s going through this, he doesn’t need people talking shit about his family in front of him. So she had the hospital staff throw me out. I grabbed my purse, Heathers purse, and took Jonathan with me.

So she followed us out into the parking lot. I was trying to call Cy again so went to the corner of the sidewalk to get a signal, and she followed me saying “Miranda, I told you to stay…” I was just thinking what the fuck… I mean really. I was like “I told you I was coming out here, get off my back.” She pointed her finger at me saying something like “Look here little girl, you better watch it.” Blah blah blah. She wanted to keep me in her sight or whatever, so I told her to just tag along wherever I went. When I finally got a hold of Cy I couldn’t even really tell him what was going on since Jonathan was on one side of me and she’s just hanging behind me on the other.

More cops came so she flagged them down. “She’s had the purse the whole time so you better search it.” What the hell all over again. I handed Heathers purse over without any issues… but then ended up having mine search as well along with a background check. Great. With the way I handle stress I’m honestly surprised I didn’t pass out right then. When they came back with Heather though they went through her purse and she ended up getting arrested. They took me with them to her car to search it, so they filed a separate police report for what they found in it because the other had already been signed off. She was able to hide the handcuffs from Jonathan and I’m really hoping that he doesn’t figure out what was going on.

I don’t guess I need to say that I’m worried on so many levels. Really. I’m worried about everyone. It’s a heartbreaking situation. At first the plan was for Jonathan to come home with me to get him away from it all. He ended up going with his sister, which is a good thing, but wasn’t a good thing was Jimmys sister trying to tell the cops that he didn’t even know who I am.

It’s a hurtful situation all around, and he’s the one who really loses. I really hope Jimmy pulls through okay… and really don’t know what to do about my sister being in jail. I think they said “felony” =(

(((( NO, she did NOT try to kill him ))))

It was a week ago today that Cy drove my car to work for the last time. It was something that he’d been doing for a while since it was so much cheaper on gas than his truck and his truck is currently not quite operational (it runs, it just shakes horribly after you get over 5mph). He noticed that it was running a bit better than it had been for a while, not idling as hard (it would idle at 4rpm at a complete stop), not pulling as bad (you had to hold it back, it wanted to accelerate itself). When he got off work he called me on his way out of the store like he always does. He got in the car and started swearing… it wouldn’t start. I ended up having to get in his moms suburban and going to get him. By the time I got there someone had already been looking at it and thought that it was a sensor.

Sunday was his day off so we went to Lowe’s to get a washer. Ours had died a few weeks earlier and it was getting tiresome doing laundry at his moms, we just waited for the store to have a 12 months no interest deal so we could put it on the card. After loading the washer we tried to start the car again and it actually started once but ran for a total of maybe 2 seconds and wouldn’t start again. Through the week Mike looked at it and told Cy what part he needed to get, so we waited until payday (yesterday) to do so. Still wouldn’t work. More digging around and there was a lot more to be replaced, including the computer that runs the whole thing (which is where the main problem originates from). We have to get it towed from Hazard to Mousie.

Long story short if someone had a few hundred dollars to put into the car it would be good to go for several more years. It’s just money we don’t have right now, as is the monthly insurance I’m paying. I asked if I should junk it or try to sell it, and Mike said to try to sell it. He said to post it up for $750 and expect around $500… which would be a great first payment for a lawyer for bankruptcy.

I’m sad. I loved my car. At the same time it’s going to be a weight off my shoulders not having to come up with the insurance and being embarrassed because it’s so loud (and the exhaust would have to be special ordered through the manufacturer).